Asterix and the Identity Theif
by Little Christian
Summary: A normal boar hunt turns ugly when Asterix is kidnapped and replaced by a Roman in disguise. And Obliex has no idea! How will Asterix get out of this mess? I don't own Asterix, Obelix, Dogmatix, or any of the familiar characters in the Asterix series. I give Romans names, but they're not necessarily OCs. Please, read and review. Constructive criticism is accepted - con-struc-tive!
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: I had this idea... a while ago, so I started writing it. Only just finished, so here's the first chapter! Enjoy!_**

_The year is 50 BC. Gaul is entirely occupied by the Romans. Well, not entirely… One small village of indomitable Gauls still holds out against the invaders. And life is not easy for the Roman legionaries who garrison the fortified camps of Totorum, Aquarium, Laudanum, and Compendium…_

* * *

It is a peaceful day in the fortified camp of Compendium. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and all is quiet – save for the commanding bellows of centurion Crismus Bonus.

"**I WANT ALL SHORT LEGIONARIES HERE NOW!**"

We are privileged, once again, to witness the speed and efficiency of the obedient Roman subordinates. Several short legionaries line up at attention, each one wondering what could be in store for them. Crismus Bonus paces angrily up and down the line, inspecting each one closely. Hunched over in irritation, his hands clasped firmly behind his back, he looks each soldier up and down, growling in frustration, and moving down the line, dismissing whoever he had just looked at with a half-hearted wave of his hand.

Finally he settles on one short legionary. He circles him, giving a thorough inspection, muttering to himself, as the patient soldier stands still as a statue, waiting.

"Conveniently large nose, just about short enough. Hair's a bit too dark, but we can fix that…" And so on for another five minutes, before standing up straight, and addressing the soldier.

"Immadoofus, you have been carefully selected for an important mission," Crismus Bonus told him. "You will be disguised as one of the most intolerable indomitable Gaul of the withstanding village not far from here."

"Sir?" Immadoofus questioned. "I do not understand my orders, sir."

"You'll be dressed up as that titch of a Gaul, Asterix, and attack the village from the inside out," Crismus Bonus groaned, running a hand down his face. "We've come up with a most foolproof plan. We'll send men out into the forest to capture the offending Gaul, and you will take his place. Find out the secret of their magic potion, and come back to us. And, while you're at it, stir up some mischief in the village as well. Put every man against his neighbour, so, by the time we attack, dosed up on magic potion, they will be too busy fighting amongst themselves to even bother about us, and we'll conquer their village, and all Gaul will be occupied by Rome!" And here he let out a booming laugh in triumph of his brilliant plan. "Caesar will bury me in gold, and I'll live in a palace!" Rubbing his hands in demented glee, he suddenly realised Immadoofus was listening to every word. He quickly regained his composure.

"Go into that tent, and you'll find your disguise all ready," he said dismissively, waving his hand in the direction of said tent. Immadoofus saluted, and turned to enter the tent.

* * *

About ten minutes later, Immadoofus left the tent, dressed in a black top, red trousers, and leather Gaulish shoes. A fake moustache of blonde hair was glued to his upper lip, and he twiddled this now between his fingers, one hand behind his back, as he strolled around the camp to find the Centurion.

"Ave, Crismus Bonus," he greeted as he entered the tent.

"Ave, Immadoofus," the Centurion returned his greeting. "And, how do you feel about the disguise."

"These Gaulish clothes are surprisingly comfortable," Immadoofus answered, tugging at the shirt. "But isn't the little Gaulish annoyance fair-headed?" He tugged uneasily at his dark locks of hair.

"Yes," Crismus Bonus agreed. "But we have come up with an ingenious solution!" He walked over to a small table where a hairy yellow thing sat. He picked it up, and placed it on Immadoofus's bare head. Immadoofus cringed.

"Eww, what _is _that?" he asked.

"Only a wig made of the hair we had leftover from the last time those Gauls were here," Crismus Bonus said, self-consciously rubbing his smooth chin. "Well, your disguise is almost complete. We just need his helmet."

"Don't you have that?" the legionary spy asked.

"Not yet," Crismus Bonus chuckled. "But we will soon…"

**_A/N: Please review!_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Here's the next chapter. Sorry for the long wait for an update... :P Enjoy!**_

* * *

The woods were quiet. The sun streamed through the leaves, giving the light a greenish tinge. Wild boars frolicked happily through the bushes. Somewhere nearby, a twig snapped. The boars looked up, in alarm. While they were distracted, a blue-and-white blur pounced on them from behind.

"I got two more!" A large, well-covered Gaul stood up straight, proudly showing off his prize to his best friend. His red moustache seemed to smile as he showed off his latest catch.

"Good job, Obelix," a little, fair-haired Gaul congratulated him, as he approached, two other boars draped across his shoulders. "Now only sixteen more to go, and we won't starve at the feast tonight."

"What's this feast for again?" Obelix asked, as he secured the boars under his arms.

"It's Vitalstatistix and Impedimenta's twenty-fifth anniversary. A very important occasion." Asterix, for that was indeed his name, twisted his blonde moustache between his fingers, a cunning smile on his big-nosed face, as they walked through the woods in search of boars. "And this year, my dear Obelix, please, don't bring them another menhir."

"What else am I supposed to get them?" Obelix asked.

"Impedimenta has asked people not to go out of their way for gifts this year," Asterix explained.

"Which means she really, really wants something nice."

"Right, but since we don't have anything right now, and it's too late to go to Lutetia to get something, we're just going to provide the food for the feast."

They walked for several minutes, without seeing a single boar. Asterix placed his load under a tree and sat down to rest a moment.

"We seem to have exhausted the supply of boars in this area," he remarked.

"And you seem to have exhausted yourself," Obelix observed. "You rest here a moment; I'll keep looking." He dumped his boars unceremoniously on top of Asterix's. "Make sure they don't get away." Asterix looked at Obelix with an amused grin as he removed his helmet, and set it down next to him.

"Don't worry, Obelix," he chuckled. "They won't be going anywhere."

"If I see any Romans, I'll bring one back for you!" Obelix called as he jogged off, his tiny dog, Dogmatix at his heels.

Asterix reclined under the tree, enjoying the warm, mid-morning sun. He closed his eyes, his arms behind his head, his legs crossed out in front of him. All was quiet. The only sounds were little birds flying from tree to tree, and the occasional squirrel scampering along the ground. Asterix loved the woods, but the only time he spent there was mostly hunting boars, or spying on Romans. He never really had the opportunity to just relax. Things were always happening, even now, with the feast that night. He only stole a few minutes for some quiet time.

* * *

"Do you see anything?"

"He's under that tree over there!"

"Shut up! He might hear you!"

"I think he's asleep."

"Well, go and find out!"

A wobbly-kneed legionary was shoved out of the nearby bushes. He clutched his spear close to him, and held his shield protectively in front of his body. He took careful steps, trying not to make a sound, but his armour rattled terribly from him shaking. He stiffed, hoping to stop the noise, and held his breath as Asterix stirred, turning over to a new position. The Roman let out a shaky breath, and advanced towards the unsuspecting Gaul.

Meanwhile, Immadoofus had sneaked behind the tree which Asterix was sleeping under. He careful reached around, and removed the gourd of magic potion from his belt. Then he waved it in the air as the signal for the legionary to make his move. The nervous Roman soldier nodded in response, lifted his spear, and slammed it down hard on the Gaul's bare head.

"YE-OUCH!" Asterix exclaimed, waking with a start, and rubbing his head. Immadoofus groaned. It hadn't occurred to him that the Gaul could already be under the effects of the magic potion for boar hunting. Asterix continued to rub his head as he glared at the offending Roman.

"What's the big idea?!" he snapped. "Can't you let a Gaul some peace and quiet?"

"Terribly sorry," the legionary mumbled, shaking more than ever.

"You're lucky I haven't had any potion yet," Asterix muttered. "Otherwise I would have sent you flying." Immadoofus let out a silent sigh of relief, and as Asterix was still scolding the legionary, he grabbed a large rock, and hurled it at the unsuspecting Gaul. And that was enough.

"Tie him up!" the patrol leader demanded, as he, and two other men leaped out of the bushes. He pounced on the vulnerable Gaul, and tied him securely with thick ropes. Asterix moaned as they stripped him of his weapons. Immadoofus, still in disguise, attached the sword to his belt, and picked up the discarded Gaulish helmet.

"You ready, Immadoofus?" the patrol leader asked.

"Ready," Immadoofus agreed. "But I need to get into character."

"Do what you must." Immadoofus grinned crookedly, and pulled the stopper out of the gourd. Taking a big gulp, and consuming the last of the potion in the gourd, he approached one of the patrol, and punched him up the nose, sending him flying into the air, leaving his shoes behind, and crashing down.

"Amazing!" Immadoofus exclaimed.

"Think you can get a hold of a whole cauldron of that stuff?"

"Sure I can!"

"Good. Now, get to your job. We'll take care of the titch." He pointed to Asterix, and two legionaries went over to pick him up, and carry him back to Compendium.

"And, uh," the patrol leader added to the imposter. "Don't fail."

"Yes, sir!" Immadoofus saluted, and began the short walk to the village."

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**_A/N: Please review! :D_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Short chapter today. Thanks for the reviews! :D**_

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Asterix groaned. His head ached. What happened? The last thing he remembered was being rudely woken up by a foolish legionary. Then what? A throbbing in his head told him he must have hit it on something. Anyway, he thought, he's not here now, so I must have done something to get away. So where was he?

A sudden light shining in his eyes made him squint, and he caught sight of a fuzzy silhouette approaching him. He tried to cover his eyes from the light, but found he couldn't move his arms.

"Well, well, well," the person spoke, and he didn't sound too nice. "I see you're finally awake."

"Who are you?" Asterix asked, straining to make out the face.

"You know me, Gaul." Finally Asterix recognised who it was, however, when he had last seen him, he had been hairier.

"Centurion Crismus Bonus!" he exclaimed, a coy grin forming on his face, despite his situation. "Hello, old friend. How have you been?"

"Friend is not the term I'd use to describe our relationship, Gaul," Crismus Bonus grumbled.

"All right, I understand, but can you at least untie me?" Asterix asked his grin widening.

"Fine," Crismus Bonus agreed. "It's not like you'll be going anywhere." He wore a grin of his own. Asterix winked at an imaginary audience as the centurion untied the ropes.

"Right, I'll leave you to brood," Crismus Bonus said, and exited the tent. Asterix peered through the tent flap. Just as he suspected, it was guarded. He crawled under the back of the tent, and started sneaking through the camp to escape.

"Where do you think you're going, Gaul." Asterix let out a startled squeak as the pointy end of a Roman spear was pressed against his back. He stiffened.

"I was… Er… that is to say, um…" He pointed towards the large gates. "I was just leaving!"

"No you're not," the legionary growled. Asterix recognised it as the same legionary that conked him over the head with his spear before.

"Oh, not shaking?" he asked.

"What? Of course not!" the legionary exclaimed. Suddenly, Asterix found himself surrounded by legionaries, each pointing a spear at him, each with a sinister grin in their faces.

"Wonder why you're suddenly so confident," Asterix muttered. He reached for the gourd of potion on his belt, and then froze. His hand touched nothing but air. His sword was gone, too, he realised.

"Uh, oh…" He tried not to panic. Surely Obelix would discover him missing, and come looking for him, right?

…Right?

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**_Please review! :D_**


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Another chapter. Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy! :D**_

Immadoofus cautiously walked into the little Gaulish village where Asterix lived. He peered around nervously, but no one seemed to notice him. He strolled on, when he was met by a fat Gaul carrying a menhir.

"Hullo, Asterix!" Obelix called. "I couldn't find you after getting the boars, so I came back here."

"What boars?" Immadoofus mumbled dumbly, rubbing the side of his head. Then he realised the Gaul was carrying an enormously large rock, possibly twice his own height, with no difficulty at all!

"How are you _doing _that?!" he exclaimed, staring. Obelix looked confused. He glanced at the menhir.

"Asterix, are you feeling all right?" he asked, concerned for his friend's wellbeing. "You know perfectly well that I fell into the cauldron of magic potion as a baby, and it has a permanent affect on me. So Getafix doesn't let me have any, and it's no fair!"

"Oh, yes, of course!" Immadoofus said. "And, remind me, who might Getafix be?"

"The druid, of course." Obelix glanced at his friend. "Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes, fine," Immadoofus waved him off.

"I found some Romans," Obelix continued. "I was going to bring one back to you, like a promised, but they had an important package to deliver to Centurion Crismus Bonus, so they weren't very cooperative." Immadoofus sucked in his breath through his teeth, worried that their plan was foiled, but the stupid fat Gaul seemed oblivious to any change in his behaviour, so he figured it was all right.

"And, did you, erm, find out what that package was?" Immadoofus asked casually, as he walked with Obelix on his final menhir delivery.

"No. It wasn't very big, but it certainly looked odd," Obelix answered, with a puzzled expression. "It's probably just a silly new weapon they think will conquer us." He chuckled.

"Oh, yes, silly new weapon. That's what the Romans are up to," Immadoofus confirmed, wiping nervous sweat from his forehead.

"I caught a few extra boars for lunch," Obelix said. "Still plenty for the feast, of course."

"Er, what's this feast for again?" Immadoofus inquired. He glanced nervously at the bigger Gaul, certain that if he suspected anything, he would be in for a thumping.

"Vitalstatistix and Impedimenta's anniversary, of course!" Obelix answered. "Honestly, Asterix, you're getting worse than me!"

"Must be the, um, the heat," Immadoofus tugged at the collar of his shirt, still sweating profusely.

"No, I think you're just hungry," Obelix said. "I'm hungry, too, so let's cook those boars!"

* * *

Immadoofus watched Obelix closely as he ate his lunch, and tried to copy his actions. Holding the boar to his face, and eating it that way. However, he couldn't eat even half of it, and Obelix picked up on some change.

"That's not how you normally eat boar!" he said.

"I-it's not?" Immadoofus gulped.

"No, you usually eat it in pieces. A silly waste of time, if you ask me, but everyone eats boar his own way."

"Oh, er, yes, I agree. A waste of time. So I tried it your way! But, my way is more… clean…"

"Suit yourself," Obelix said, concentrating on his third boar.

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_**A/N: Please review! :D**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Another chapter for your wonderful readers!**_

_**Book girl fan: First of all, great user name :3 Secondly, thank you for your thoughts on my chapters. I like seeing what you, and other readers, have to say about my work, so I can see how to improve next time. :D**_

_**Enjoy!  
**_

* * *

Asterix sat in the camp, hunched up, chin resting in his hands, his leg tied to a stake with thick, coarse rope.

"How do I get into these messes?" he muttered. A lone squirrel crossed his view, stopped, sniffed the air, and looked directly at him, before scampering off somewhere. Asterix wished he was a squirrel.

"At least then I wouldn't be in this situation," he grumbled.

* * *

Dogmatix was spending the day trailing after Obelix and Asterix, though he felt extremely uneasy around his short friend. He was usually very nice to him, but ever since he came back from the boar hunt, Asterix didn't seem himself. He smelt funny, too, Dogmatix thought, and seemed to not remember where he was, or even who Obelix is! Dogmatix kept a close eye on Asterix; he couldn't see anything wrong, but there was something that wasn't right…

Dogmatix was suddenly stopped by a little brown squirrel that had scampered in his path. He recognised it as a friend, and he was suddenly concerned at the anxiety he saw in his eyes.

"What's wrong, friend?" Dogmatix barked. There was urgency in the squirrel's voice.

"Asterix," he said. "The Romans have captured him. They're holding him captive at Compendium, and he had no magic potion!" Dogmatix stared at him in confusion.

"But Asterix is right here," he tilted his head at the forms of the two Gauls as they walked away, unaware of the exchange between the two animals.

"That's not Asterix, it's a Roman legionary disguised as Asterix!" the squirrel cried, gesturing frantically. "You have to go help Asterix, Dogmatix; I have no idea what the Romans will do to him." Dogmatix nodded, and let out a determined growl.

"All right, I'll go." And he was off.

* * *

Obelix continued dominating the conversation while Immadoofus blocked him out, as he planned his next move.

_Somehow, I've got to get the secret of the magic potion. Maybe the druid will tell me, since he knows Asterix so well…_

"Er, Obelix, dear fellow," he spoke up.

"Hm? Yes?" Obelix looked down expectantly at his friend.

"While talking with you if very intertesing," _Oh, no, it's not! _"I really need to speak with Getafix," _And if he doesn't tell me, I'm going to pummel him! _"So, if you'll excuse me…" _Glad to be away from that oaf…_ And he was gone. Obelix stood, dumbfounded, staring at where his friend was moment before.

"Asterix must've hit his head or something, Dogmatix," Obelix said, unaware his puppy wasn't there. "He really is behaving strangely."

* * *

Immadoofus reached the druid's hut, and banged on the door.

_Hurry up! Open up!_ He growled in his head. Finally, the door cracked open, and Getafix stood in the doorway.

"Asterix, what a pleasant surprise!" Getafix said, thoughtfully stroking his long, white beard.

_Wish I could say the same, old man. _"Hullo, O druid," Immadoofus greeted warmly. "I have come to ask a favour of you."

"Come on in," Getafix invited him into the dark hut, lit only by the fire under a cauldron. "How can I help you?" He began to stir the mixture. Immadoofus glanced in the pot.

"Is that the magic potion, O druid?" he asked curiously.

"Oh, no," Getafix laughed. "This is soup. I'm hungry." He dipped a finger in, and licked it. "Needs more salt…"

"Getafix," Immadoofus muttered. "Could you-"

"Oh, yes," Getafix exclaimed. "Of course you may!"

"So you agree?" Immadoofus asked, confused.

"Yes, I would be delighted to share my supper with you." Getafix grabbed two bowls, and poured the soup. He handed one to Immadoofus. "Tell me what you think; it's a new recipe."

"**I HAVEN'T COME TO TASTE YOUR CRUMMY SOUP!**" Immadoofus shouted, throwing the bowl against the wall. Getafix raised an eyebrow at him, slightly annoyed.

"All right, all right, what was it you wanted?" he asked. Immadoofus crossed his arms over his chest.

"I want you to tell me the recipe of-"

"My soup?" Immadoofus glared, tapping his foot impatiently.

"**THE RECIPE OF THE MAGIC POTION THAT GIVES YOU SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH!**"

Getafix stared at Immadoofus as if he had grown a second head. He was very surprised; then he was angry.

"Asterix," he said. His eyes blazed. "You know PERFECTLY well that the secret is for a DRUID'S EARS ONLY. Only to be passed down by WORD OF MOUTH, DRUID TO DRUID!" Immadoofus glared, but Getafix wasn't finished. "**And how DARE you even CONSIDER asking me AFTER you insulted my SOUP!**"

* * *

Obelix stood outside Getafix's hut, waiting for his friend. He only heard lots of yelling, but not what was being said. After a few minutes, out came Asterix. He marched right past Obelix, not even acknowledging he was there. Obelix looked after him, then turned to Getafix, who was glowering in the doorway.

"What was all that about?" Obelix asked innocently.

"**NO! YOU CANNOT HAVE ANY MAGIC POTION! WE'RE ALL OUT!**" And Getafix slammed the door. Obelix stood there, awkwardly, trying to figure what exactly just happened.

"I'll go talk to Asterix," he reasoned, and went in search of his friend.

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**_A/N: Please review! :D_**


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: New chappie! :D**_

_**Filosofie: Yes, yes he does.  
**_

* * *

It didn't take Dogmatix long to find Compendium. It took even less time to get into the camp. The dim-witted Romans found him very cute indeed, and eager to take him in as their mascot.

"Aww! Isn't he adorable?"

"Hey, Centurion, can we keep him? Please?"

"Who's a good wittle doggy? Who's a good wittle doggy?"

"OUCH! He bit me!"

The commotion roused Asterix from his thoughts, and he glanced over to where the Romans were huddled together, looking at something. He was curious, but, at the same time, concerned. What was all this?

Something small and white broke from the circle, and ran towards him. Asterix sat there, head tilted, one eyebrow raised, until he finally recognised the shape of Dogmatix. Then his face broke into a smile.

"Hullo, Dogmatix!" he said, rubbing the little dog's head. "So, you finally found me, huh?" Dogmatix wasted no time. After wagging his tail, and barking a delighted greeting, he began to chew on the rope around Asterix's ankle. After a few short minutes, Asterix was free, and scooped up the little dog, grabbed a nearby spear, and charged straight towards the Roman's, still huddled together, and debating what to call their new mascot.

"I reckon Twinkle Toes," one said.

"AHHHH!"

"Well, that's not a name." The legionary who screamed grabbed the other's head, and swivelled it around until he was facing a wild-looking Gaul, with a small dog tucked under his arm, and a pointy spear sticking straight out, heading right towards him.

"AHHHH!" The Romans scattered, leaving Asterix free to exit.

"Thank you so much for your hospitality, gentlemen," he said at the gate. "But I really must be going. Ave!" He saluted, and ran off.

"Tell me," one shaken Roman said to his mate. "Did we just get beaten by an indomitable Gaul," – grabbing his friend by the front - "**WHILE HE WAS NOT UNDER THE EFFECTS OF THE MAGIC POTION?!**"

* * *

"Now to get back to the village," Asterix grinned. "I'm sure Obelix is worried sick; it's been hours since the boar hunt. And I'm hungry." In the tree, the squirrel waved to Dogmatix, glad he had rescued his friend. Dogmatix barked in response. Then he smelled an odd smell, and he grew concerned. He growled.

"What's wrong, Dogmatix?" Asterix asked, concerned. Dogmatix stiffened in his hold, and growled again, louder. Asterix let him down, and the little dog ran in the direction of the village. Asterix grew alarmed, and ran after him.

* * *

From a bush-covered hill, on the outskirts of the forest, Asterix had a good view of the village. What he saw disturbed him. A little Gaul stood in the middle of a circle, yelling at everyone. Obelix stood by, watching, upset by the scene. Dogmatix stood at his master's feet, growling at the stranger. Asterix crept towards the gate, and looked in. He had a better view of the strange Gaul, and he did not like what he saw.

The Gaul causing the uproar was Asterix.

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_**A/N: Cue 'DUN DUN DUN!' *crickets* Never mind! Instead, cue reviews! XD Please... :)**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Thank you for all the great reviews! Enjoy the 7th (I think? XD) chapter of Asterix and the Identity Thief! :D**_

* * *

Obelix had looked for his friend, and found him kicking stones across the village, hands shoved deep into his pockets, as he mumbled curses upon Getafix. This surprised Obelix, but he figured Asterix had just had a bad day, and let him steam.

"Asterix, I must know one thing," Obelix said. "Why are you so angry with Getafix?"

"**WHY?!**" Immadoofus exploded. "Because that conceited, self-centred, thinks-he's-so-much-better-than-you-because-I'm-a-druid… **DRUID **won't tell me the secret of his magic potion."

"No, of course he's not," Obelix reasoned. "Because it's only told to another druid, by word of mouth. You know that!"

"Whose side are you on?" Immadoofus demanded, crossing his arms, and glaring at the larger Gaul.

"Umm…"

"Oh, I see," the little man looked insulted, and turned away in a huff. "Mr. Obelix thinks he so much better than me, too, because he has lasting effects. He doesn't need potion. Well you can just defend this village by yourself from now on!" As he stalked away, Immadoofus grinned secretly. His plan was coming along perfectly! Obelix looked crestfallen, and called after his friend, but got no answer.

* * *

"Oh, no, you don't!" Getafix stood directly in front of the smaller man, causing him to bump into the druid. "This village needs you, Asterix, to protect it from the invaders."

"Pfff!" Immadoofus scoffed. "Who needs your potion? It tastes terrible, anyway. Your soup isn't even good." You could practically see the steam seeping out of Getafix's ears.

"WELL IF YOU DON'T APPRCIATE MY POTION, YOU CAN DEFEND THE VILLAGE WITHOUT IT!" The gathering crowd jumped at his tone.

"WHY DON'T YOU FIND YOURSELF A NEW WARRIOR?!" Immadoofus boomed. "LIKE HIM!" He pointed a finger at Vitalstatistix, who looked astonished. "Yes, him," the yellow-moustached man continued, twirling said moustache between his fingers, a grin on his face that was frightened Obelix. "Chief Stand-on-my-shield-and-let-others-do-all-the-work-ix. He could move his lazy self every once in a while."

"Why, I outgha-" Vitalstatistix started, but was cut off by his wife, who advanced towards the offending Gaul with a rolling pin.

"If you think you have the right to insult my Piggy-Wiggy, Asterix, you've got another think coming!" And she raised her 'weapon' above her head to strike, but was interrupted.

"Asterix does have a point," Cacofonix stated, tossing his hair, and holding his lyre tenderly. "You don't pull your weight around, Chief. You'd rather send someone else to do your dirty work."

"Anyone else agree with him?" Vitalstatistix threatened, jumping down from his shield, and crossing his arms. There was no eye-contact made as villagers rubbed the back of their necks awkwardly.

"You have no right to talk," Immadoofus snorted at the bard. "Your music is so bad; it would make grown-up ogres cry!"

"Well, I never!" Cacofonix snapped. Fulliautomatix let out a laugh.

"I hear you there, Asterix," he said. Cacofonix glared daggers at him.

"Oh, you agree, do you? See if I ever share my talent with you barbarians again!"

"I'd be delighted."

"Well, no need to get so riled up, kids," Geriatrix scolded. "I can defend our village, if Asterix won't."

"You, old man?" Unhygienix snorted. "Without Getafix's magic potion, you can't even walk two steps without getting out of breath."

"I can send a Roman flying farther than you can," Geriatrix snapped, waving his walking stick in the fishmonger's face.

"Uh, fellows," Obelix said.

"**KEEP OUT OF IT!**" Geriatrix, Unhygienix, Fulliautomatix, Cacofonix, and Vitalstatistix snapped at him. Obelix scowled.

"Fine, I'm going to sulk," he pouted. "And I'm not going to help you defeat the thousands of Romans coming our way." And he stalked off into the forest to sulk.

* * *

It took a moment for what the well-covered Gaul had said to register, as most of the village were nose-to-nose with each other arguing, throwing insults, and the occasional fish. But when it did, they were panicked.

"Getafix, quick, make us some potion!" the chief ordered the druid. But the druid was not there.

"Where's Getafix?" Unhygienix asked.

"And Asterix?" Fulliautomatix added.

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_**A/N: Please review! :D**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Enjoy! And thank you, Book girl fan for the favourite! :D**_

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Where indeed… During the argument, no one had noticed Asterix – Immadoofus – move over to Getafix's side. Nor did anyone notice him give the druid a nice clonk on the head. Nor did anyone notice him drag the druid away into the forest, leaving them druid-less, and, even worse, potion-less. He laughed to himself in glee that his plan has succeeded, and, dumping the druid in a small ditch, he made his way to the fortified camps, to alert them that now was the ideal time to attack.

* * *

Asterix had noticed, however, his doppelganger sneaking away, dragging the druid by the ankle. He followed him, and when the fake Asterix left the druid, he approached him.

"O druid, Getafix." Asterix shook the druid and whispered urgently. Getafix stirred.

"Ugh, what happened?" Then he noticed Asterix. "Oh, no, I'm not talking to you!" And he leapt to his feet, and prepared to walk away, but was stopped when Asterix grabbed him by the robe.

"Look, I don't know what happened, but I can assure you, whatever it was, it wasn't my fault! See, the Roman's captured me, and-"

"And you expect me to believe that?" Getafix asked, not angrily, but certainly not calmly. "You, the strong, cunning warrior, and with your magic potion, you expect me to believe the Romans captured you, and kept you prisoner?" Asterix shrugged, his head drooping. He understood Getafix's doubt, but he was desperate to fix what had happened, even if he didn't understand it all himself. Getafix looked at his long-time friend. He looked sincere. Now that he thought about it, the Asterix who demanded the secret of the potion didn't have the same spirit as the Asterix in front of him. This was the Asterix he knew.

"They stole my potion, and then attacked me," Asterix continued. "Dogmatix found me, and managed to chew through the ropes. And if we don't do something soon, the Romans are going to attack, and the whole village will be doomed!" Getafix considered what Asterix had said. He stroked his beard thoughtfully. Just then, they heard loud footsteps coming through the bushes towards them. Asterix and Getafix tensed, as they looked to see who it was. A blur came towards them, and before Asterix could react, he was scooped up into someone's arms, and for a terrible moment, he thought he was being kidnapped again. But then…

"Asterix!" The delighted call was music to Asterix's ears, and he wrapped his arms around his best friend's large neck.

"Obelix!" Asterix cried. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry for any trouble that happened while I was captured!"

"It's not your fault," Obelix assured him, as he held him at arm's length. Asterix couldn't stop smiling. Now that he had found Obelix, it seemed like everything was going to be all right. Dogmatix barked at his feet, and when Obelix set him down, Asterix stroked the pup, who licked his fingers.

"Asterix, there isn't much time," Getafix said. He saw Romans marching in the distance towards the village. "Obelix, can you hold them off?"

"Oh, goody, goody, of course I can O druid. Goody, goody, lots of Romans, all to myself," and so on as he pranced down the forest path. Getafix watched after him, concerned.

"No matter how much he enjoys it, he can't stop them all by himself. There are just too many." He shook his head. "I'll make up a quick potion. Asterix, you see what you can do to stop them." Asterix nodded.

"I already have a plan, druid," he said. Getafix smirked. Yes, _this_ was the Asterix he knew. Asterix ran down the path after his friend.

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_**A/N: I know, it's short, but there's still more to come! Please review! :D**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: New chapter! Enjoy!**_

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Obelix started pummelling the Romans at the rear of the march. Asterix snuck towards the front, and managed to get ahead of them before they reached the village gates. He stopped in their path.

"Out of the way, Gaul!" one Roman, Utternonsus, growled.

"That's no Gaul!" another Roman, named Plagueoflocus. "That's Immadoofus disguised as a Gaul!"

"Oh, yeah!" Utternonsus said his voice annoyingly high-pitched as he spoke. "You sure did a good job on that disguise."

"Ave, friends!" Asterix saluted. "The little Gaulish nitwit is in the camp Compendium! Capture him and bring him to me. I want to rub my success in his face."

"Uuuuuuhhhh…" the two Romans glanced at each other. "Okay!" And ran off.

"And what about the rest of us?" another legionary asked.

"Your services are no longer needed," Asterix dismissed them with a wave of his hand, and ran off into the woods. The legionaries looked at each other, confused. Then they were bashed into the air, and their helmets added to the rapidly-growing collection of Obelix's.

* * *

Utternonsus and Plagueoflocus soon found Asterix waiting for them in the woods. They had Immadoofus. They dropped him at Asterix's feet, who smiled slyly down at him.

"Uh, he claims he's you, Immadoofus," Plagueoflocus said.

"But we know better, we do!" Utternonsus added cheerfully.

"Great. Now go away," Asterix said.

"Right!" the two Romans said together, and left. Asterix grabbed his helmet from Immadoofus and put it on.

"It feels good to have this back," he said. Just then, Obelix came crashing through the woods, Dogmatix at his heels.

"Asterix!" Obelix exclaimed. "And… Asterix?!" The two look-alikes stared at Obelix, and then glanced at each other. Immadoofus quickly shoved in front of Asterix, knocking him over. His helmet flew off his head and into the bushes.

"Good to see you, Obelix, old pal!" he said, holding out his hand in warm greeting as he approached the larger Gaul. Dogmatix hid by Obelix's feet, growling.

"What's wrong with Dogmatix?" Obelix asked.

"He's feeling uneasy with this… this _imposter _so near us!" Immadoofus pointed an accusing finger at Asterix.

"Wha- _ME?!_" Asterix placed his hand on his chest. "_I'm _the imposter?"

"Of course you are!" Obelix said angrily. "Asterix is the smartest person I know, and if he says you're the imposter, then he's right!" He protectively pushed Immadoofus behind him, and approached Asterix threateningly. "Don't worry, Asterix; I'll take care of him. He won't harass us anymore!"

"Wait a minute, Obelix, can't we talk this over?" Asterix asked, but Obelix simply picked him up by the collar of his shirt, and prepared for a pounding.

"Prepare for politeness!" Obelix said. Dogmatix whimpered as he watched.

"Obelix, no!" Obelix halted his fist, just inches from making contact with Asterix's jaw. Asterix uncovered his eyes, and saw Getafix running through the woods towards them.

"That's the real Asterix, you big oaf!" Getafix exclaimed, pulling Asterix from Obelix's grip.

"Sorry, Asterix," Obelix said quietly. Asterix retrieved his helmet from the bushes.

"Oh, that's all right, Obelix," Asterix assured him, straightening his helmet. "No harm done."

"What of the Romans?" Getafix asked. Asterix shrugged.

"They're all a bit sick, Getafix," Obelix said. "They don't fight back anymore. It's no fun!" He stuck his hands in his pockets, kicking the dirt with his foot.

"That's all right, Obelix," Getafix said.

"What do we do with this one?" Asterix asked, gesturing to Immadoofus. Getafix rubbed his chin in thought.

"Take him to the Roman camp Compendium," he said after a moment. "Let them deal with him."

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_**A/N: Please review! :D**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Good day, dear readers. This is a very special chapter, because... It's the last one! This marks the ending of another grand adventure for our favourite bunch of Gauls. But be warned; more are sure to follow, so keep on your toes, because you never know when one might pop up!**_

_**Anyway, I'd like to thank all my readers for your reviews, suggestions, and helpful criticism. Thank you to **_**Filosofie_, _Rock Raider Fan 001_, _Book girl fan_ and _Diamante99_._**

**_Now, on to the chapter... Enjoy! :D  
_**

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"You failed your mission," Crismus Bonus growled, as Immadoofus cowered under his angry stare. "You're going to the circus." Immadoofus removed his hands from his head and looked up, surprised.

"R-really?" he asked nervously, his voice shaking.

"Really," Crismus Bonus snapped. "To be fed to the lions." Immadoofus put his hands back over his head, and whimpered.

"I thought as much…"

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"So everything turned out right in the end," Getafix said, as he and his two friends, and Dogmatix, made their way back to the village. Asterix had his hands stuck deep into his pockets.

"What about the rest of the village?" Asterix asked. "My doppelganger caused quite a stir."

"I'll talk to them," Getafix said. "They're probably only fighting about Unhygienix's fish, as usual, and we'll end this story with a banquet tonight, like always." Asterix perked up.

"Of that I have no doubt," Obelix agreed, rubbing his hands together and licking his lips.

* * *

Asterix and Obelix waited outside the village as Getafix stopped the fish fight and explained the situation to his fellows Gauls. Then Asterix was brought in greeted warmly.

"No hard feelings, then?" Asterix asked, as he shook hands with the Chief, who stood on his shield.

"No hard feelings," Vitalstatistix agreed. "But, er, Asterix?" He leaned in closely. "You don't really think that I'm lazy, do you?"

"Of course not, Chief," Asterix chuckled, twirling his moustache.

"Then I believe a feast is in order!" the Chief exclaimed.

"Hurrah!" Obelix cheered.

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As the starry sky looked down upon the little village of Indomitable Gauls, who merrily feasted around the table, all good friends, Cacofonix the Bard sat under the tree, cloth around his mouth, and rope around his arms, thinking of all the love and admiration he would get from his fans, one day, away from these barbarians. While Asterix, sure that the Romans would never try another stunt like that again, toasted to individuality.

"I do admit," Obelix said, between bites of his third roast boar. "That other Asterix was pretty convincing." Asterix raised an eyebrow at his best friend, an amused grin slowly forming on his face.

"I'm sure he was," he said, suppressing a laugh.

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**_A/N: And so concludes our adventure. Hope you enjoyed. I'd like suggestions on where I should take our friends next time! Stay tuned and..._**

**_Please review! :D_**


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